I Hate This Worm Inside of Me
by Solo Ensemble
Summary: Quasi-episode tag to 502: Weight Loss. Ryan becomes worried when Kelly will not give up her diet.
1. Chapter 1

**Note – **My first ever Ryan/Kelly fic. HOLY CRAP. So scared. This kind of picks up after S5E02: Weight Loss. I changed some stuff; it should be clear in the story. Since this is more Ryan/Kelly, I include way more talking heads (for Ryan, particularly) than would otherwise be in the twenty-two minute episode of the show. I can't really figure out if this is totally in character or not. I'm still very much feeling my way through this. This was supposed to be one story, but I had to chop it up because otherwise it would be about 25 pages, and no one needs that. LOL! got rid of the brackets around the action part of the talking heads, so that's awkward.

**I Hate This Worm Inside Of Me.**

**Part I**

"But more importantly, what this whole thing is about, this contest is really about being healthy. And in order to be healthy, you have to eat, Kelly."

Even from his seat in the back of the room, Ryan could see the earnest look on Michael's face (even with that god-awful goatee) as he struggled to kneel in front of Kelly. He could see her shoulders stiffen; she clearly hadn't been expecting that kind of personal attention. And personal attention was hardly ever a good thing when it came to Michael, and Ryan should know after suffering for three years as "Hottest in the Office" according to the first Dundee he ever won.

"Kelly. I want you to stand up on your chair. Come on, stand up on your chair."

Ryan squirmed in his seat, trying to get a better look at whatever Michael was doing to Kelly. She looked uncomfortable, but he saw that Michael only had his hand on the armrest of her chair.

"Stand up, stand up, stand up," Michael repeated, hoisting himself up off the floor when Kelly didn't move. "Somebody help her. Here we go."

This was degrading and awful, but he didn't know what to do about it. If Toby was here, he would have interjected on Kelly's behalf (he'd always been oddly protective of her, even though it was common knowledge that he had changed his seat because he couldn't stand her chatter half the time) and then Michael would have called him the devil and they'd have that to listen to for the next five minutes, after which Michael would forget why he was harping on Kelly and go back to doing a really awful Klump imitation.

Holly, the current HR rep, was still a bit too new to know exactly what to do, and shot him a helpless look when Ryan half-glared at her. She was just as confused as he had been during his first few months with Dunder Mifflin Scranton, so he tried not to hold it against her.

Kelly got up and slowly stepped onto the seat of the chair, tottering slightly, and she probably would have fallen if Dwight hadn't raised a hand to her lower back. She looked haggard and weak and drawn, not at all like the vivacious (curvy) Kelly he knew.

She folded her arms over her chest and averted her gaze uncomfortably, looking even smaller in that low-cut jersey dress that now seemed to hang on her whereas before it would cling to her curves in a way that made him want to skim his hands along them as well. He could hardly ever keep his hands off her when she wore those flirty dresses. Back when he was still at the branch, she wore a dress once a week, at most, and much preferred skirts, but now it seemed like she wore more dresses than anything else. He liked the look on her.

But what he didn't like was the look on her face, pained and sad and almost frozen as the rest of them stared up at her. Ryan wanted to be able to do something, to say something, just to make this go away for her, but he'd never been good at that sort of thing.

And Michael was just going to have a ball with this one, he knew it. He'd probably say something about how men liked women with ba-donk-a-donk-donks, or whatever other euphemism he thought was fresh and new but was actually stale and over. He'd say that they were all so used to Kelly's old figure, rounded and full, that this new thinner model just wasn't working. God, he'd probably push Kelly even _further_ toward anorexia or bulimia or whatever it was that caused her to diligently starve herself.

"Okay. I want you to look at her."

Ryan cringed and scooted down in his seat. Oh, no. Here it began.

Michael was dead serious as he looked around the room. Kelly kept her arms folded over her chest and didn't look at anyone.

"She's a beautiful Indian woman."

Ryan's jaw dropped.

* * *

_To the camera:_

Ryan: I was _positive _I heard wrong. I mean, come on, beautiful Indian woman? I thought for _sure_ I heard wrong.

pause

Wait, I didn't mean it that way. Kelly _is_ a beautiful Indian woman. She is, all right? I just…didn't think I'd hear Michael say something that actually…helped.

frustrated growl

Look, she's beautiful, all right? I do think she's beautiful. You don't spend two years with one woman if you don't – she's gorgeous. All right? I said it. So what?

* * *

"She's a beautiful Indian woman." Michael looked around the room, his expression still perfectly stern. "Why? What makes her beautiful?"

Ryan was on his feet before he even knew it. "Everything," he heard himself proclaim as the rest of them turned now to look at him, no doubt wondering what the hell he thought he was doing.

"She's perfect."

The camera focused on Jim all of a sudden, and Ryan had no doubt that he was making one of his patented can-you-believe-he-did-that faces, but he couldn't have cared less. And just like that, the camera was on Kelly, who actually lifted her gaze and met his directly for the first time.

His breath caught in his throat as she looked at him, unsure and surprised, but he caught just the barest glimmer of delight, and that made the corner of his mouth quirk up in one of those small, private smiles that he belatedly realized he reserved just for her.

Meredith ruined the moment.

"I like her nails."

Michael ruined it further.

"OK, be more specific."

"I like her _finger_nails."

"I like her purple dress," Phyllis spoke up, making Ryan roll his eyes. That wasn't purple. It was dark amaranth or merlot if anything.

(Oh, God, he knew the names of different shades of pink…)

"What about her looks?" Michael asked, ruining his otherwise not-too-bad record for the meeting. No longer the focus of attention, Ryan slowly lowered himself into his seat.

Creed arched a brow. "Hell of an ass."

* * *

_To the camera:_

Ryan purses his lips; gives the camera a _look_.

* * *

Kelly picked at her nails and looked around, and Ryan felt forgotten. "…What else do people like?"

Michael didn't give anyone a chance to reply to that and took a step closer to her. His green eyes searched hers beseechingly. "Kelly, will you just agree to stop this mess and stop trying to kill yourself?"

His eyes trailed along the stiff line of her shoulders as Ryan waited rigidly, hoping that she would agree, hoping that she would see sense and listen to Michael.

Finally, he heard a quaking gasp and saw her shoulders tremble.

"I _hate _dieting," she got out, looking as if she was trying to curl into herself. "I hate it so much. I hate this _worm_ inside of me!"

He saw the cameras go directly to Creed, who looked very suspicious all of a sudden, but Ryan didn't know what to make of it. He also didn't even want to _try_ to figure out what Kelly meant when she said she had a worm inside of her.

"I want you to know. Kelly, look at me!" Michael took her hand and turned her around, forcing her to meet his gaze. "I want you to know that you are beautiful. You are truly beautiful. Give me a hug."

Ryan was with him up until that point, up until the point Michael wrapped his arms around Kelly's waist and rested his head against her breasts.

"Mmm…."

Kelly looked at the camera, and Bill the camera guy shrugged.

…Then zoomed in.

* * *

_To the camera:_

Ryan: arches a brow; does not look amused Really? _Really?_

* * *

_Coming Up: When Michael reinstates the Weight Loss Challenge, all the progress with Kelly goes out the window, and she's back to her crazy dieting..._


	2. Chapter 2

Note – This story will be a little more meaningful if you've seen or read the deleted scenes for "Performance Review

**Note **– This story will be a little more meaningful if you've seen or read the deleted scenes for "Performance Review." I won't spoil it for you by recounting them. And thank you for the awesome feedback. And thanks to the Scranton Times to recommend this fic or post about it, however that works, lol. I'm glad that I don't seem to flat out _suck_ at writing Office fic.

**Part II**

Ryan walked into the kitchen to grab a soda from the fridge and found Kelly sitting at the little table with microwave pizza and the very last can of Coke. He couldn't mind, though, because she was eating again, and he was tremendously glad for that.

He shut the door and turned to face her, and he would have said something (he didn't quite know what) but Michael entered the kitchen just then and immediately spotted her.

"Kelly, is that something healthy?"

Ryan had to smile when she grinned and shook her head.

Michael wasn't as pleased. "Well, can you make an effort here? Come on, we're trying to lose weight."

The smile faded from Kelly's face and Ryan stifled a groan. He should have known to expect this from Michael: every time that man took one step forward, he took a giant leap backwards. He'd seen it time and time again but had hoped that somehow, this time would be different.

Michael was gone, probably off to tell Phyllis that she won a free round of liposuction that she'd have to pay for, and he turned back to Kelly, dismayed when he saw her slowly put the slice of pizza down.

"Kelly, don't listen to him," he tried, "you know Michael, he's insane. The guy was on an egg yolk diet for months – he doesn't know anything about healthy eating.'

She was staring down in horror at her food, and he had to wonder if she even heard him just now. "Pizza? Oh, my God, what was I _thinking_?"

"Kel, come on-"

She swallowed her last mouthful – with some difficulty, he noticed – and wiped her mouth with her napkin, shaking her head. "I have to get back to work."

He took two steps toward her before he even knew it. "What? You just started your lunch break, you haven't even eaten-"

"I'm not taking a lunch break!" Kelly snapped back, tossing her soda, napkin, and plate, pizza and all, into the garbage can. Ryan could only watch as she stalked out of the kitchen and back to the annex.

With a growl, he leaned back against the fridge and scowled at the wall. Back when he used to work at this branch as a salesman, he hated being cooped up with her in the annex. Now, he wanted nothing more than to be able to follow her there.

* * *

_To the camera: _

Kelly: (holds up the empty box of microwave pizza) What was I _thinking_?

(throws it down; shakes her head with an irritated huff)

And, you know, I was thinking, the spicy-syrup-lemonade stuff I've been drinking has _got_ to have, like, a bunch of calories. Maybe it would be better if I didn't eat anything at all…

…Yeah, that's probably better.

* * *

Kelly wasn't listening.

She'd gone from bad to worse in her quest to lose weight, and now she wasn't listening to a thing anyone had to say. Granted, few of his co-workers cared enough to get involved, but Ryan was past worried.

Kelly wasn't eating at all while she was at the office. She came to work every day with a large water bottle, no lunch bag, and went through at least three refills of it every day. She was dropping the pounds, sure, but that didn't mean she looked better. Her old clothes were starting to hang on her, making her look even more emaciated than she was. Her skin, which used to be so smooth and soft under his hands, had gotten splotchy. Her hair lost its luster and bounce and now looked coarse and dull. Her nails kept breaking, which meant that she had to forgo those manicures she'd always loved so much, and what with her occasional bouts of light-headedness, Ryan was starting to seriously doubt her abilities to stay upright in those four inch heels she insisted on.

He knew she kept soaked almonds and a small assortment of crackers (graham, saltine, and animal) at her desk, which she would nibble at come lunchtime, but that was nothing substantial.

Since returning to Scranton, he'd slowly come to the realization, as troubling as it was, that he wanted her back, and because of this, Ryan had taken to casually arranging run-ins with her in the office. He didn't deliberately plan and stage them – that would have been trying too hard and putting forth too much effort – but he made more trips to the break room and the kitchen than he used to, hoping on the off-chance that he'd see her walking around. But Kelly hardly ever seemed to leave her cubicle, so there were no chance meetings.

Back when he sat by Creed, Kelly was frequently to be found in the break room or the kitchen or in the main office. She'd come by to talk to Pam or Jim far more often than she had before, and he belatedly realized it was because she was hoping for little run-ins with him back then.

When he joined her in the annex after being promoted, that wandering habit ceased and Kelly would spend all her time at her desk since he rarely left his, not really caring to hang out with his co-workers since he was planning to be out of there before long, anyway. When work was slow and the ever-vigilant Dwight was otherwise occupied (which was often, thanks to Jim), he'd back her up against her desk or she'd back him up against his and they'd kill time making out.

When he made the move to corporate and only returned to the branch when he absolutely had to, he'd see her walking around more than ever before. She'd be over in accounting unknowingly harassing Angela (sometimes by her very presence); she'd hang out at Jim's desk; she'd sit on the reception counter and talk to Pam; and often enough, she'd be on her way over to the warehouse to presumably visit Darryl in his office.

The thought still irked him, so Ryan shrugged it off.

Those social calls were a thing of the past now, and Kelly was once again back to being shackled to her desk. This time, however, she was alone back there. Holly was around, of course, but she had her hands full trying to get used to dealing with Michael and Dwight and Angela and their particular brands of idiosyncrasies, and she didn't know Kelly enough to want to keep an eye on her.

Kelly just stayed back there, sometimes curled up in her chair, sometimes with her head down on her desk, just trudging through her work until it was quitting time and she could go home and not eat. She didn't take lunch breaks anymore and avoided the break room and the kitchen because she didn't want to see people eating, because that would make her want to cheat on her macrobiotic diet.

Yes, the behavior was crazy and yes, this was Kelly and Kelly herself was crazy, but there was a limit, and Ryan knew that something had to be done. Unfortunately, he had no clue what or how to get started.

Taking positive action for people other than himself had never been one of his strong suits.

He felt the camera zoom in on his face as he watched Kelly rest her hand against the side of her cubicle to keep her balance, and just sighed and walked back to reception.

* * *

_To the camera: _

Kelly: (holds up a pack of 5 gum) See this? This is 5 gum. It's what I eat so that I don't get hungry and want to eat. It's green, and it's called Rain, which I think is like spearmint or whatever. It's sugar free, it has no calories, and it was part of the SWAG offering at the last Emmy awards.

(offers camera a piece)

This is my breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Not dessert, though. I haven't eaten dessert in three months. It's like, really bad for you and stuff.

* * *

Ryan followed his co-workers back into the office. They'd just been down in the warehouse for the daily weigh-in, and Michael was upset because they'd only lost one pound. He and Dwight were just ahead of him, talking between themselves about the possibility of investing in anti-gravity suits for everyone, and weighing the pounds they'd knock off their total core against the weight of the anti-gravity suits themselves.

Ryan had stopped following that particular conversation five seconds after it started.

"What if we get anti-gravity suits…_for_ the anti-gravity suits?" Michael pondered. Dwight was nodding thoughtfully. "The negative will cancel out the positive. Simple rule of math."

"Kelly, stop dawdling," Dwight directed, trying to move past Kelly as they reached the end of the little hall that opened up into the main office. "You don't burn as many calories if you're dawdling."

Ryan rolled his eyes. That guy really needed to give it a damn rest some-

"I don't feel so-"

"Kelly!"

Jim yelled out for her when he saw her start to fall, and Ryan was the one that lunged for her. He caught her in his arms just before she hit the floor and scooped her up, holding her against his chest. He'd forgotten how small she was, and she was even lighter now after the crash dieting.

"Let me get her pulse!" Dwight shouted, roughly shoving Creed out of the way. "Move. I'm a sheriff's deputy-"

"Volunteer," Jim interrupted, but he wasn't making a joke for the cameras. Instead, he looked visibly concerned as he tried to get the cameras to step away from them. "Come on, give her some room."

"It's weak," Dwight murmured, his fingers pressed to Kelly's throat. "Someone open up WebMD!"

"Get her to the hospital," Jim argued, looking around the room. "She hasn't been eating right for weeks – this was bound to happen. Who's her emergency contact?"

Holly came running back up with the file that held all the contact information and pulled out the card. "Kelly Kapoor…emergency contact…Ryan…Howard."

The camera zoomed in on him to catch his immediate reaction, no doubt getting a great shot of him looking completely stunned.

"Me? Why does it-" It occurred to him. "How old is that?"

"Last updated…two years ago." Holly turned on her boss, waving the card in front of her like a fan. "Michael, what happened to the contact cards from last year?"

"I don't know!" He threw his hands up in the air, still freaked out from Kelly's fall. "Ask Toby! Where is he? Oh, that's right, he ran off to Costa Rica, probably with the cards from last year. It was his last revenge against me."

Jim closed his eyes and shook his head. "Forget it. It doesn't matter."

"I'll take her to the hospital." Ryan adjusted his hold on her, shifting so that her head rested securely in the crook of his neck. "I know all her personal information, too, it'll be fine. I'll call in as soon as I can."

Michael waved him out as Dwight shouted some nonsense about securing a police escort, and Ryan marched out the door and down the hall, her body still surprisingly light in his arms.

This had to stop.

* * *

Normal 0 MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 !-- / Style Definitions / p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; page Section1 size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0; div.Section1 page:Section1; --

_To the camera: _

(in the nurse's lounge at the hospital, Bill the camera guy has just shown Ryan footage of Kelly talking about eating nothing and using gum as a deterrent)

Ryan: (angry) And you didn't tell anyone? Why the hell wouldn't you tell anyone?! You didn't think that maybe, just maybe, this was something that-

(door opens; nurse enters)

Nurse: You can't be in here.

Ryan: It's okay, they're with me-

Nurse: Sir, you're not allowed in here. Please return to the waiting room.

(Ryan scowls at the camera and leaves the lounge.)

* * *


	3. Chapter 3

**Note – **Thank you for the feedback!

**Part III**

Kelly had been hospitalized for three days after her post-weigh-in fall, and she was finally back at work.

"Dunder Mifflin, this is Ryan. Hold, please."

His eyes flicked toward the door when it opened slowly. Kelly didn't meet his gaze as she walked in, quietly shutting it behind her. She wore a pale pink wrap-around dress and ballet flats, which he noticed immediately only because she loved her high heels and sometimes said that if you were going to wear flats to work, why even show up at all?

He never quite understood how that made sense, but that was Kelly.

And this Kelly, who barely glanced at him as she walked to her desk in the back, was still a far cry from the real Kelly, but she looked much better. He had stayed at the hospital until her parents arrived and then ducked out and went home. He hadn't gone back, but he knew that the nurses were very concerned about her rapid weight loss in addition to her malnourished and dehydrated state, and they had hooked her up immediately to IV bags meant to replenish her system with salts and nutrients. It had done her good, and she looked stronger than she had the week before.

Dwight had stopped her in the middle of her trudging walk to the annex and was proposing a walker or some sort of rope and pulley system, but Holly assured him that she would be extra vigilant when it came to her desk mate and got them both out of there.

That new HR rep, she was learning.

* * *

_To the camera: _

Ryan: Yeah, I'm glad Kelly's back. And that she's better now. They kept her for three days, I heard, so that means that they probably corrected everything she did to herself by not eating. So that's good.

(looks away, looks back at camera; cringes sheepishly and lifts up a lunchbox)

And I found this in the fridge when I was getting some string cheese. It's got cut up vegetables and chicken broth and a bottle of water in it, so I figure that's a start. What?

(arches brow, listens to cameraman)

How do I know it's hers?

…Who else has a pink lunch box with pink polka dots on it?

* * *

Kelly was eating at her desk. Ryan new this because she wasn't in the break room, she wasn't in the kitchen, her car was still in the lot, and it smelled vaguely like chicken soup in the annex.

"People don't normally eat at their desks here, right?" Holly uncapped her vitamin water and took a small sip. "I mean, company policy encourages employees to get up from their work area and go somewhere else, just to have some sort of break-"

"Hardly anyone eats at their desk. Except Michael." He took a bite out of his string cheese, not dignifying the strange look she gave him. People always looked at him that way when he took a bite out of the mozzarella instead of peeling it into strings. He liked the slight bitterness that came with just biting it off instead of fussing with it.

"Except Michael?"

Ryan nodded. It was probably a good thing, too. The last time Michael had eaten in the kitchen with everyone else was when Jim threw that party and he was trying to get an invite.

"Yeah. The rest of us always eat here or in the break room."

Holly nodded slowly. "…Kelly's eating at her desk today. Well, for the last few weeks, actually, but at least she's eating today."

He took another bite of the cheese, curled his tongue into the bitterness of it. "Yeah."

There wasn't really much to say. He knew Kelly a hell of a lot better than he knew Holly, and he didn't really care to talk about his ex with her. Holly was fine as she went, but they didn't know each other at all and she seemed pretty close with Michael, and that was reason enough to be cautious.

Ryan almost took a step back when Holly leaned toward him, but stopped himself. Her eyes darted around to make sure that no one else was in earshot, and her voice dropped so that only he could hear.

"I'm worried about her," she admitted. "I don't know her that well, but she seems like a very nice person. And it's obvious that she's going through something, and I just want to be able to help her."

He didn't really know what to make of that; no one could really care that much about almost-strangers, right? "…It's your job," he allowed.

Holly shook her head. "It's not about that. As her HR rep, I'm just supposed to address her on-the-job concerns. But as her co-worker – maybe her friend…"

Ryan fought the urge to roll his eyes. Great, another friend-hungry office mate just like Michael. As if they needed _two_ of them.

"…I just feel like there's more I should be doing, that if I just stick within the confines of my job, I'll be ignoring her or dismissing her." She leaned just a little closer. "…I've been trying to work with corporate to create better outreach programs for employees with depression, single mothers, grief counseling…and employees with anorexia or bulimia."

It was a tremendous admission and Holly instantly rose in his esteem for just saying that, but Ryan still balked. "Kelly's not anorexic or bulimic. She just-"

"She's just starving herself to get thinner," Holly finished dryly. "You're right, huge difference. What was I thinking?"

He pursed his lips in irritation. "She doesn't need psychiatric help, if that's what you're thinking."

"Maybe not," she allowed. "I sure hope not. She's back now, she's eating, she seems to be doing better. Maybe she can pull out of this on her own. But maybe – just maybe – she needs someone's help to do it."

She arched a brow at him and, seeing Michael try to flag her over from the main office, stepped around him and left the break room.

* * *

_To the camera: _

Kelly: (eating soup) My sister Tiffany just started medical school, and she drove up over the weekend when I was in the hospital.

(pauses to blow on soup; takes a sip, making a slurping sound)

She said that the stuff in the bag that they had me hooked up to was basically just sugar and salt, and I was like, oh, no, sugar and salt! I've been cutting both out of my diet. Sugar goes right to my hips and salt makes me retain water and get all bloated.

(lifts another spoonful; stares at it for a moment before sipping it)

But then she was like, no, it's not that kind of sugar or salt, it's the kind they keep in the hospital to pump back into you if you don't have enough, and it doesn't make you gain weight like that. _Then_ she told me that you actually get thinner if you eat a lot of small meals during the day, so that your body's always got food to digest and calories to burn.

(holds bowl in one hand, lifts up sandwich baggie of granola, one of almonds, and one of cut up celery)

So that's what I'm doing. Small meals throughout the day. I went to the store and got a whole bunch of celery, because it has negative calories, and will make me lose negative weight.

…Instead of positive weight. Like my ass, which people say they like. I don't know if you guys knew that.

* * *

"My roommate in college used to throw up sometimes after dinner, but it totally wasn't a big deal," he heard Kelly saying to Holly, who was leaning over the cubicle wall, as Ryan walked into the annex. It was almost five o'clock and normally he couldn't stand to be in the office a minute after the work day was over, but he wanted to be able to talk to Kelly when no one else was around, so sacrifices had to be made.

"And she went down two dress sizes in time for the spring formal, so that was pretty awesome. But I've never done that. I mean, I throw up when I'm sick, not after I eat. I have thrown up before, though."

Holly was nodding. "Well, that's good, that you never did what she did. Throwing up after you eat can be dangerous."

"Oh, I know, I heard you can, like, start to lose teeth or something." He saw her grimace and shake her head. "Disgusting."

"Totally," Holly replied. "Hey, listen, I was wondering…I usually eat lunch around the same time you do, and I don't have anyone to eat with. You wanna have lunch together tomorrow?"

"I would, but I eat here." She gestured to the empty desk she was leaning against, the desk he used to sit in. "But you can have your lunch here if you want. No one sits here anymore."

Holly tilted her head to the side. "Why do you always eat at your desk? And not with everyone else?"

"Everyone else is awesome, but I can't eat with them." She tucked her dark hair behind her ear. "Jim always has his ham and cheese sandwich, and he's started drinking soda again, which I definitely cannot have. Stanley always has a sub from Cugino's, and Phyllis brings leftovers from dinner with her husband, like pot roast and stuff, and Kevin eats a lot of pizza. The only one who ever used to have gross lunches was Pam – she'd eat, like, yogurt and salads and stuff. And she's not here anymore, so now I'm the one with the grossest lunches."

She shrugged, not looking terribly concerned about it. "So I eat at my desk because I know that if I go into the break room or the kitchen I'll just want to eat what everyone else has. And sometimes Michael orders pizza for everyone, or cupcakes or those little éclairs that the bakery down the street makes, and I can't have those."

"Well, you could if you wanted to," Holly reasoned. "Having a treat now and then, there's nothing wrong with that."

"It goes straight to my hips," Kelly informed her. "And my stomach. It'd be awesome if it went to my boobs, but it never does. That kind of sucks."

Ryan shuffled his feet on the carpet, drawing their attention. Holly immediately got down off the chair she was kneeling on and straightened her skirt, shooting him a quizzical look.

"Uh, hi." He looked back and forth between them and played with the bag of vending machine pretzels he had. "Kelly, can I talk to you for a minute?"

Realization dawned on Holly at his serious tone and she sent him a small, secret smile. She picked her coat up from her chair and grabbed her purse, and Ryan moved aside.

"Don't mind me," she said, looking back at Kelly. "I have to be going anyway. Quittin' time."

"Okay. Bye, Holly!"

He had no idea why Kelly always said goodbye to people like it was the most exciting thing in the world, but she used to do that to Toby all the time when they separated to get back to their desks, even though they only worked about ten feet away from each other.

Kelly sat back on her desk as he approached, and Ryan leaned against the desk that used to be his. "Hey, Ryan. What's up?"

This new casual, almost indifferent tone was something he was definitely not used to. Kelly used to get so excited whenever she saw him, whenever he came over to talk to her while he still worked across from Creed. She was a little more distant now, a little more aloof, and it took a little getting used to.

What was most troubling was that at one time, this was what he wanted. And now to realize that he didn't like it…well, it was disconcerting.

"Just wanted to…talk."

She arched a brow skeptically. "You never want to talk."

Well, that was certainly true enough. She had him there.

"Just, uh…" He shrugged helplessly. "Needed a little help."

This intrigued her; the Ryan she knew _never_ asked for help, and certainly didn't ask _her_ for help.

"With what?"

"Uh…" Shit, now he had to come up with something plausible that he could still tie in with her current condition. "Well…"

She was starting to lose interest. Kelly always had the attention span of a mud puddle.

"You know this part of Scranton better than I do," he said, though it wasn't exactly true. "And I was wondering – do you know where the closest gym is? Like, a fitness center or something? At corporate, we had our own in-house gym, but…"

Kelly's eyes narrowed. "You want to work out?"

"Totally," Ryan said, almost choking on the word. God, he hated that word. He only used it when he was making fun of her, or now, when he was just trying to put her a little more at ease so she wouldn't look at him like she barely trusted him.

"Why? You never worked out before."

"Got used to it at corporate," he lied. "And, you know, I'm trying to…bulk up. And lose some weight."

Wait – was it possible to bulk up _and_ lose weight?

Whatever. Kelly would know what he meant.

"There's a Curves on Moosic street."

Ryan rolled his eyes. "Kel, that's for women."

"Oh. Right." She wrung her fingers together, thinking. "Um…Tiffany used to go Downtown Fitness on Wyoming sometimes, before she left for school."

He vaguely remembered her younger sister, the one closest to her in age. "Oh, she's in college now? What's she doing?"

"She's going to medical school," Kelly said, smiling proudly. "The same one Baba went to. It's, like, crazy hard but she likes it."

"Good, good." He looked around, still nodding slowly. "Right. So, uh…Wyoming, right?"

Kelly nodded. "Yeah, it's probably closest. I've been thinking about working out, too, so I've been checking out some of the gyms close to the office so I can do it before going home, otherwise I'll just get lazy."

Ryan frowned at that. "Why do you want to start working out?"

This time, it was her turn to roll her eyes. "To lose weight, duh. Come on, Ryan."

"Kel, you've _never_ worked out for as long as I've known you. You never had to!"

"Well, I do now," she said, and it was clear that she was being stubborn. "I think I'll start next week. That'll give me time to get really hot workout pants, and a couple of those tank tops with the straps in the back and the kind of low-cut top with the built in bra that gives support but also shows a little something…but not everything. I swear, Ryan, not everything."

It was best just to nod. "I know, Kel."

"Ooh! And those capris that kind of stretch to fit you just right, in black. Totally in black. I look really good in capris."

"Kelly…" He shook his head. "You don't need all that."

She looked at him in perfect shock. "I totally do! I don't have _any_ workout clothes, Ryan. Would you want me to go work out in jeans? You probably _would_ want that."

Somehow, he kept his frustration out of his voice. "I mean, you don't need to work out. You're fine just the way you are – why don't you trust any of us when we tell you that?"

She didn't say anything and just looked at him, and Ryan hesitantly took a step closer to her. She didn't shy away, didn't lean back, so he moved closer and gently took her hand, half expecting her to yank it away and ask him what the hell he thought he was doing.

It would have been a valid question, but one he would not have had an answer for.

"Kel." His blue eyes probed her brown ones seriously. "You can't do this to yourself. There's nothing wrong with actually eating what you want to eat. There's nothing wrong with the way you're built. And there's _nothing_ wrong with the way you look. Kelly…you're beautiful."

She was just watching him, not reacting to his words at all, and it was starting to scare him. Maybe she wasn't affected. Maybe she was, but she just didn't want to show him. Maybe she just didn't believe him at all.

Just when he thought that this was insane, that he had no business standing here and saying these things, she spoke.

"You never said that before."

He could only stare at her. "…I didn't? I did. Didn't I?"

She shook her head. "When we were in the dumpster that one Christmas and I was looking for your CD that I threw out, you said I was perfect, but you never said…that. And I didn't really believe you when you said I was perfect."

The corner of his mouth quirked up before he could help it. "The first time or the second time?"

Kelly rolled her eyes at his cocky response but didn't answer to it. He was still holding her hand, and it was small and warm in his larger and colder one.

"Kel, all I'm saying is that I think you're beautiful, and I think you're more beautiful when you're not doing all this crazy-"

She looked at a point just over his shoulder and suddenly smiled wide and bright. "Darryl!"

"Hey." Always self-assured and unhurried, Darryl made his way over to the annex. Kelly pulled her hand from Ryan's without a second thought and took Darryl's instead.

Darryl noticed the look on his face before Ryan could snap himself out of it and glanced down at Kelly. "Am I interruptin' something?"

He pushed himself away from the cubicle wall and answered before Kelly could. "No. You're not."

Ryan didn't spare them a second glance as he left the annex, trying to get over how strange it felt not to be the only one that made demands on Kelly's attention.

* * *

_To the camera:_

Ryan: No, it's good that Kelly has someone in her life. Someone that she can talk to. She used to drive me crazy when she talked to me all the time, so…

(he folds his arms over his chest and glances away)

No, it's good.

* * *


End file.
